digitaldiscipline:

agoodcartoon:

nidoranduran:

yournewfriendshouse:

zinglebert-bembledack:

agoodcartoon:

digitaldiscipline:

magistrate-of-mediocrity:

dr-archeville:

bogleech:

kramergate:

micspam:

ghostsnif:

sciencevevo:

agoodcartoon:

Guys who complain about the friendzone often don’t care about their female friends’ personal boundaries, forcing their female friends build more walls up. A good cartoon.

- submitted by Gene

why is he tearing down a wall with an axe

i hate it when your put in the friendzone and made to tear down a wall

Mr. Gorbachev…tear down this friendzone

how you gonna draw some shit that makes you look like Jack Nicholson in The Shining and still feel like you’re the victim

I DON’T *CHOP* UNDERSTAND *CHOP* WHY *CHOP* YOU CAN’T *CHOP* JUST *CHOP* LET ME *CHOP* BONE YOU *CHOP* ON AN INDEFINITE *CHOP* EXCLUSIVE *CHOP* BASIS *CHOP* WHEN *CHOP* I’M *CHOP* SO *CHOP* NIIIIIIIIIIIICE *CHOP*

“I’m going to wall you up now, Fortunato.”

“Ha ha, and then what? ;) ”

“For the love of God, Montresor!”
-Cask of Amontifriendzone, Edgar Allan Poe

Incessantly, I heard a smacking,
as of some entitled dipshit whacking,
whacking on my chamber door.

Resignedly, I placed another layer,
voicing a quiet, repeated prayer,
“This dude thinks he’s a player,
but I am not a point to score,
he should fuck off and bother me no more.”

Quoth the friendzoned, “Fucking whore.”

- The Craven, by Edward Allen Bro

edgar allen bro

Oh my god

holy shit

“Nice guy!” said I, “Total dildo–nice guy still if nerd or dudebro,
Whether reddit sent, or whether romcoms tossed thee here ashore,
Barely known yet still entitled, holding now your Tom Waits vinyl,
Begging me for something primal, tell me truly, I implore
Is this–is this shit for fucking real? Tell me, tell me, I implore!
Quoth the friendzoned, “Fucking whore.”

“Nice guy!” said I, “Total dildo–nice guy still if nerd or dudebro,
By the mores that you abuse thus, by those films we both adore,
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, by stalking me through Facebook,
You have gained a twisted outlook of whom those tropes are for,
Paint a rare and radiant dream girl whilst you remain a bore,
Quoth the friendzoned, “Fucking whore.”

“Be that slur our sign of parting, creep or douche!” I shrieked, upstarting,
“Get thee back to lonely anguish and your friend’s used comic store!
Leave no white rose as a token of the lust you claim heartbroken,
Leave my scathing words to soak in! Quit the name calling of ‘whore’,
When you lust for every girl, but when they say nay they are whores!
Quoth the friendzoned, “Fucking whore.”

And the friendzoned, never scoring, still imploring, still imploring,
On some fetid old subreddit for a girl who will adore
The nicer guys and not the “douchebags”, unaware that it’s a red flag
To be his soulmate o'er him learning they both like the movie Thor
To fuck him for being nerdy even though he is a bore,
Then she says no–fucking whore.

that internal rhyme scheme is a fucking master class

re-rebageling for the improved version of what i did, because fuck yeah

skycowboys:

ozsaysrawr:

skycowboys:

skycowboys:

sigridkaffen:

kedreeva:

skycowboys:

draconpyrothayan:

skycowboys:

A Masked Broadwing….or is it a longwing? This peg’s classification is about as fickle as it’s personality. They tend to be difficult to handle. Pilots/breeders debate whether or not this pegasus is a broadwing or a longwing. There’s compelling evidence for either class

-

Discord | Patreon

Wouldn’t they be able to figure that out by whether it lays eggs?

Thaaaaaaaat is a good point.

Correction: The DM cannot figure out if this pegasus is a broadwing or a longwing lololol

Counterpoint- mammals don’t lay eggs, but a platypus lays eggs and is still a mammal so…. exceptions are a thing that could be argued.

Monotremes are freaky outliers and shouldn’t be counted.

I mean, platypuses secrete milk from their skin. No one wants to argue in favour of their exceptions except as cute venom-clawed freaks.

I am so sorry, this is all I can think about now

help i can’t stop

@skycowboys Please give this platypus-horse a fedora. PLEASE!!!! 🥺

ok for REAL this is the last reblog

arcsin27:

undeadhousewife:

deadmomjokes:

The dads are right.

Slapping (and sometimes ground spot but it depends on farming practices and season) is the only way to actually find a good melon before cutting into it.

“Gender” isn’t a thing; all melons are grown up ovaries of the flowers, they don’t have a sex let alone a gender.

The stem being dry or green is based on how long ago it was cut, assuming it still has a stem on it when it gets to the store. If you let a melon stay on the vine til the vine dries up, the melon is going to go bad.

Webbing on the melon is the result of inconsistent watering, just like stretch marks and splits on a tomato. It grows really fast when it gets a ton of water after not getting a lot previously. It panics and goes “QUICK BEFORE THE DROUGHT COMES BACK” and puts all that water straight into the melon. It expands too quickly and causes micro cracks in the rind which dry out and become the hard brown webs.

The ground spot is reliable on organic and small-scale farmed melons, including your own backyard-grown melons. It turns yellow as the fruit matures, but in store-bought melons, even a lighter colored spot could still have a nice tasty melon inside because they’re often picked slightly unripe and sprayed with ethylene. They also suck up the ethylene from their ripe buddies and will continue to ripen in the store crate, even if the spot never changes color. So it’s a 50/50 shot in a lot of cases; sometimes, yellow-spot melons in stores are already going mushy and nasty inside because they were already ripe but hung out with their buddies too long and got over-exposed.

But slappin? Accurate all the dang time (except in the field in the middle of the day when all the juices have expanded in the heat). Make a fist. Knock on the middle of the melon (gently, don’t smash him). Sounds kinda metallic and sharp? That puppy ain’t ripe. Sounds hollow and dull? Perfect melon, ready for eatin.

The one exception is if your melons have been on a super long journey, I’m talking been on the shelf for weeks and weeks, then they’re all going to sound hollow regardless of how tasty they are. That’s why early and off-season melons, the ones that get shipped in from other countries, are so hit-and-miss and often not tasty. Because it’s impossible to tell good from bad by slap method at that point, and they were all picked early and ripen off the vine on the journey there, which is never as tasty as if they’re allowed to get ripe before picking/shipping.

So yeah. The dads are right, this chart is garbage, and now you too have secret Melon Knowledge. Go slap some melons, kids.

This is 100% accurate - slap (or knock, but politely!) those babies around is still the most fool proof way of telling.

also idk when the hell the idea of male/female fruits and veg became a thing - I’ve seen similar things said about bell peppers BTW - but that’s not how fruit and veggies work, like, at all. As a long time gardener I beg of you all to just take 10 minutes and read about how plants reproduce.

thelegendofxavio:

notagiraffe:

eric-coldfire:

rocktheholygrail:

The Good Place (2016-2020)

A vaccine wouldn’t have saved you if you died from an infected cut on the hand, that’s more you being filthy.

Are you sure

That conversation aged well I see